To My Second Child

You came as a surprise, but then again so did your brother.
It was a bit of a turbulent time in our lives as I was working on overcoming
many new challenges in my life.
When I found out that we were expecting you, I became a nervous wreck.
I couldn’t imagine being able to love you the way that I love your brother.
It was an impossible thought.
This is when the guilt began.
The guilt of not being able to love you enough.
The guilt for potentially loving you more.
The guilt for taking attention away from the person who has been the center of my universe, your big brother.
My pregnancy with you was very similar to the first yet so different.
It’s as though you were preparing me to start understanding your differences right in utero.
As you were safe and warm inside the womb we had a lot of changes on the outside.
We moved into the home where your nursery is.
We had experienced your brothers first big cold, turned pneumonia, turned penicillin allergy.
It was very stressful.
This was when I began to understand what it means to worry about two kids rather than just one.
“This too shall pass” has become my motto after these events.
We had overcome all of these bumps in the road and were now waiting patiently for your arrival;
All the while smothering your big brother with as much love and attention as possible.
Back to the guilt.
Four days after your due date you gave me a lite notice of your arrival.
So lite in fact, that we almost didn’t bother going to the hospital.
We got to the hospital and were told that it would be a little while, so I had to do the famous delivery walk.
I walked for over an hour and had grown extremely impatient as I was so excited to finally meet the little man that had caused me to chew through the worlds supply of ice chips.
So I got the epidural (sorry to all of the natural style mamas, I don’t have it in me) and took a little nap.
After a five hour nap you were ready to go.
At 6:29 am I started pushing and by 6:30 am your whole 8lb 12oz little body had shot right out like a cannon ball!
As soon as I saw you I realized that you Sir are so different from your brother.
I held you and felt my heart grow to double the size.
You were so little and vulnerable.
My protective instinct had multiplied just as the size of my heart did.
You are so very loved.
Unlike your brother, you get a third person to adore you daily, Nate.
When he saw you at the hospital he couldn’t understand why I was holding another baby.
You could see the hurt in his eyes.
GUILT!
To our relief when we came home with you all Nate wanted to do was hold you and kiss you.
RELIEF!
For the first two weeks I would put you to bed and run to your brother.
Even in my exhausted state I insisted on being a part of his bedtime routine because I wanted him to know how loved he is.
I didn’t want him to think that I love him less.
EXTREME EXHAUSTION ALERT!
The adjustment period was very short lived and today, I relish in our moments together.
I try and mentally photograph your baby giggles and strong baby man yells.
You are my baby and I am obsessed with you.
Thank you for teaching me that the heart is capable of multiplying in size within seconds.
Thank you for teaching me more patience than I had the first time.
Thank you for teaching me to except that my babies will be different in nature but equally loved.
Thank you for being sweet, calm and edgy all at once.
Thank you for just being here and being YOU!
Love Ima (other word for mom)

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Sleep time Battles

Sleep time in this house is golden.
There is a routine that is put in place right from the first day that our boys came home from the hospital.
It goes a little something like this:
Eat, bath time, massage, get dressed, story, sleep.
This worked beautifully until Nate turned 2.
Not 18 months.
Not 23 months.
2!
I swear I think that on the night of his second birthday the sleep rebellion had commenced.
We do all of the things that we have always done.
We don’t have the television on in the evening.
We don’t do anything stimulating other than the 5-10 stories that we read to him; we both agree that this is excessive but he loves it and we love him so why not?
We make sure that he is pretty much asleep and then we sneak out of his room.
Within SECONDS he shoots up and we hear the pitter patter of his little feet running to the stairway.

Nate: “aba.” (Other word for dad)
Adam: “Go to bed Nati.”
Nate: “Abaaa… Why aba?”
Adam: “Nati you have to go to bed so that you won’t be tired tomorrow.”
Nate: “Come up Aba!”

Then Adam goes upstairs and lays in bed with him until he falls asleep.

This worked up until very recently.

Now Nate doesn’t want Adam to leave at all so he keeps him there hostage.
He jumps around.
Smacks him.
On occasion he’s even hit him pretty hard in the nether region.
Adam inevitably loses his cool and leaves the room.
This automatically resets the process and this goes on for a good two hours.
It’s what I call toddler terrorism.
Adam has to be there until Nate falls into the deepest sleep possible and only then can he sneak out.
Don’t be fooled, in a couple of hours Nate “sleep walks” into our room and snuggles up to Adam.
There is no escaping it and we are officially out of ideas.

Lucille the lady dog

I live in a house full of boys.
We’ve got Adam the dad, Nate the big brother, Benny the baby brother and Sir Jack Nicholson the spoiled adult big baby dog.
Then there is me the mama and Lucille the sweetest lady dog in existence.
You would think that she would be my ally in this big boys club of a house.
For the most part we stand united.
Until this morning.
Let me begin by saying that it is the first night in over three weeks where I got a full and uninterrupted nights sleep.
I walk downstairs with a sort of pep in my step.
Then I reached the bottom of the stairs just to realize that there are a bunch of chewed up brushes all over the floor and dog beds.
Any good feeling that I had immediately dissipated and turned into pure rage.
My eyes began to dart through the room and I find Lucille in her pen looking so guilty.
I look at Sir Jack, who is currently very tense as he is usually the one to blame for such shenanigans.
I yell “Lucy, you have some explaining to do”, close the pen door and walk away, vacuum in hand.
This obviously wakes the baby and my day begins as it always does, in a hectic rush.

My Favorite Day

Saturday is my favorite day of the week.
Not because I get to sleep in; Nate has a fever and it was a pretty hectic night topped off with an early morning.
Although Ben was up at 7:45 am which is a gift!
Not because I get to take my time getting ready for the hottest brunch spot in the city; I’m the chef at Brunch a la Rev.
It’s the day that we all get up and head downstairs to have breakfast together.
I look forward to the challah French toast that I make for the boys; I’m currently on a Paleo diet so I can’t even have any.
As soon as I sit down at the table all of my exhaustion dissipates because I feel so blessed to be a part of such a sweet little family.
My craving for that delicious French toast on the other hand is still raging on!

Elijah

I can’t for the life of me snap out of this sad feeling in my heart.
Yesterday news broke in Toronto that a three year old boy walked outside in the middle of the night wearing nothing but a t-shirt, pull-ups and boots, in -30 Celsius weather.
He didn’t make it.
Those words bring a sort of sadness to me that I can’t even begin to communicate in words.
Although nobody that knew this child will ever read this I want to give my deepest condolences.
His name was Elijah and although I’ve never met him, today my heart weeps for him and his family.
The world has lost an angel and I truly hope he is warm and safe up in heaven.

Nate’s Cheeky Appointment

Nate had his first dentist appointment today.
I was a little anxious about it but was immediately relieved as we walked into what I like to call the Tooth Fairy’s House.
As soon as we entered the office everyone greeted us with warmth and kindness.
The dental assistant, Shelby, was an absolute doll.
She turned on his favorite movie Madagascar or as Nate refers to it “Alex the Lion”, and just got straight to work in the most gentle fashion that is humanly possible.
Nate was totally in his element;
He had his jam on, a cute girl all up in his grill and mummy at an arms length.
All was going fabulously until the male dentist arrived.
All of the sudden Nate lost all interest in this visit and was clawing his way out of the chair; the dentist is amazing by the way.
It’s just that Nate loves the attention of women so he was like “peace out, see you when this guy leaves!”.
Right at that moment Shelby swooped right back in and Nate became relaxed once again and gave her his famous smirk.
I swear my two year old has more game than most grown men I know.
The appointment was awesome but Adam and I are in big trouble with our little Don Juan!