Sitting on the Dock of the Bay

Silence.

It’s a word that can’t be used too often in my life.

From morning cries to evening bedtime battles, there is always so much noise.

Nate is the initiator of a lot of the noise.

He’s resilient and doesn’t let go of the things he wants, so more times than not there is a long conversation or even an argument about pretty much everything.

At this particular moment he is still and silent.

Rather than basking in the glory of this rare silence I sit behind him and wonder what he’s thinking about.

Is it that fight we had this morning or is he disappointed about the toy that I took away from him, forcefully making him share it.

I begin to wonder how I will survive this silence in the future when he is older.

When the silence comes from a feeling of resentment and lasts longer.

It instantly makes me miss the “noise”.

One day he will live his own life and I’ll be calling him off the hook just to hear the sound of his voice and I will be elated if I get to experience that “noise” again.

At his young age the silence is very short lived and we go back to the silly loud noise within minutes.

The truth is that it’s nice to have some peace and quiet from time to time but silence is too loud for me.

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