Today, like most Saturday’s, Adam took Nate to soccer as I put Benny down for his nap.
I should realistically be napping and trying to catch up on all of the lost sleep through the week but I find myself restless.
Instead I make myself another cup of coffee and enjoy it in the company of me, myself and I.
After being married for almost four years and having two young children I find that catching up on sleep is not necessarily what I need.
What I need is a pause in my week.
A time where I can reflect upon what has happened and not to think of what is to come.
I take the time to remind myself to be thankful for all of the blessings in my life and to remind myself not to take these blessings for granted.
I think about a little girl named Clover that lives far away, that I have never met in person yet I feel connected to in spirit.
She is a baby warrior who is fighting the battle of a lifetime.
I take a moment to pray for her and her family.
For her mother Keeley who is going through something that nobody can possibly understand unless they have experienced it for themselves.
I remind myself that broken glasses, stained shirts and tantrums are all things that should be taken lightly as there are so many bigger things happening in this world.
I allow myself a moment to feel deep sadness and pain at the idea that there are things in this world that are completely out of our control.
Then I remember that there are things that we can control.
We can control our temper when our kids act up.
We can allow ourselves to lose control and be supremely affactionate and loving.
We can control the amount of time that we spend worrying about trivial things and apply that time to the important people in our lives.
Once that is all done I get back to the groove of things until the week comes full circle and I am back in my comfy bed with my cup of joe.
I’ve made an executive decision to give away all of the infant toys that we have in the house as Benny is interested in everything but his toys.
Here is a list of things that Benny loves:
The remote control
He can find it no matter where I hide it.
It can be on the couch, the side table, even the kitchen table and he will find it!
He learned how to cruise because he wanted to get to the remote as it was taunting him by hanging out innocently on the couch.
My Fake Birkenstocks
Let me begin by saying that this kid gives me a run for my money when it’s time to eat food but as soon as he sees my Birks he starts salivating.
I don’t know if it’s because I am a shoe addict and he caught the addiction in utero or if there is simply something appetizing about the light grey suede straps.
Whatever it is, it drives me up the wall!
He literally follows me around in anticipation for me to take them off for him to go to town with them!
The Ancient Yet Still Existant Hand Held Home Phone
Here is something that you need to know about me.
I have a paralyzing fear of cell phone and microwave radiation.
Although radiation may have nothing to do with either of these things, I have convinced myself that they do and that it is life-threatening (cue raised the eyebrows).
For that reason we still have a home line (cue oohs and ahhs at the ownership of this ancient communication device).
Benny loves the house phone.
He particularly loves to throw it around like a ball.
I can be on the phone and he crawls up to me with the intention of taking it from me.
I am amazed at how well devised his plan of action is at such a young age.
He is actually obsessed with this phone.
So there you have it.
Since Nate is a toddler and Benny was born with a remote control/shoe/home phone fetish our infant toys are now obsolete.
If there is any advice I could give a new parent it is this:
Don’t EVER discuss your child’s good sleeping habits.
Why, you ask?
It is because the second you divulge that kind of information your child ceases to sleep at all!
Call it the curse of the mommy/daddy gab.
It happens to the best of us.
You sit at the hottest family friendly restaurant in town with your crew of infants, toddlers and parents.
You start off with some adult conversation but somehow get sidetracked into the kiddie talk corner.
Here comes the dreaded question: “How are you sleeping?”
Translation: “How is the baby sleeping?”
Due to what I like to call “the haze” you respond thoughtlessly:
“Last night we slept through the night!”
Que the “oohs”, “ahhs” and daggers.
After a lite lunch (too lite but that baby fat ain’t so phat!) you make your way home for the baby’s nap.
On the way home you do everything to ensure that that baby does NOT fall asleep because transferring them is naptime suicide.
You get home, prepare a bottle, change that stinky diaper, put on some comfy bed gear, feed them and put them down for that two hours of uninterrupted you time.
You walk out feeling lite as a feather.
Then you hear it: “WAHHHH, WAHHH, WAHHH, NAHHH, GAHHH…..”
What is going on?!?
Yep, its the curse.
Murphy’s Law guarentees that once you utter the words “good sleep” in relation to your children, you will NOT be sleeping again for awhile.
You inevitabley give in to the cries and take them out to play.
Somewhere in the back of your mind you hope that this will lead to a full nights rest but rest assured that that my friends will not be happening for you.
So suck it up, drink it up (coffee that is) and wait it out.
This will teach you not to talk about taboo things, like your baby’s great sleep habits.
My friend Katerina is a very enlightening gal.
She is in her mid twenties but is wise beyond her years.
We were having a conversation one evening about all sorts of trivial things and Ben was in his high chair listening in.
Kat turned to him and made a funny face which had him laughing his little tushy off.
Then she said one of the smartest things that I have heard in a long time:
“If you could bottle up a baby’s laugh you can cure cancer” ~ Kit Kat
It’s so true!
That laugh is intoxicating.
It is made up of rainbows, butterflies, unicorns and the purest form of joy in existence.
I can already envision the slogan:
Baby’s laugh, I put that s**t on everything!
I love baby play dates.
There are the obvious reasons like getting to enjoy the company of a friend while our children sit around chewing on toys.
There is usually some foodage in the mix and the caffeine levels are high enough to wake the dead.
What gives me the truest pleasure during these social gatherings is how the kids enjoy every moment.
Their enjoyment is so pure and is activated by so little.
As an adult you need so much in order to truly enjoy something.
Your taste has now been refined; you enjoy a particular kind of beverage, atmosphere and company.
With infants all you need to do is sit them in front of a box of toys and a friendship is forged.
I find myself mentally digging for the time when it was so simple just to be able to understand that sort of uncomplicated happiness.
I am inevitably at a loss of memory and realize that I should relish in this moment rather than trying to understand its process.
Adulthood is so complicated that I manage to complicate the least complicated of situations.
Ah, to be a baby again.
Feeding Ben is like running a marathon for me; terrifying and exhausting.
At his ripe old age of ten months he is convinced that he is capable of eating independently.
Anytime I try to feed him with a spoon he swats at it faster than I swat at a fly that lands on my fresh apple pie.
So today I took a new approach; I took the oatmeal and poured it out onto his tray.
As I watch him slather oatmeal all over himself without getting much into his mouth, all I can feel is my OCD creeping in quietly but I talk myself down.
He seems happy to be doing what he’s doing so I guess I’m going to be doing a lot of cleaning for the next little while!
Oh, and hyperventilating, a lot of hyperventilating.
There is nothing in this world that can prepare you for being a parent.
You’re either waiting to make more money or waiting for the right time.
Waiting for everyone you know to get on the baby train or for that last big hurrah.
Guess what, life doesn’t end when you have children.
You know what else changes, your perspective.
You realize that now you are more driven than ever to make money.
You wish that you would have had them sooner so that you’d have more time with them.
You now know that it’s not about your friends having kids; you’ll still have friends and you’ll meet new ones with kids.
What “hurrah” meant before kids and what it means to you once you’re a parent are two very different things.
So in reality the whole last hurrah thing is a big HOOHA!
It’s so challenging yet so rewarding.
There is no amount of planning that can prepare you for that.