When I was pregnant with Nate I always saw lists upon lists of things that I need to get.
Only twenty percent of these things were necessary!
Due to that, I’ve decided to compile a list of things that are completely useless for your first or ANY baby for that matter.
1. A bassinet
Your stroller comes with the bassinet
attachment. Unlike the strollers of the dark ages, today’s stroller has every attachment possible to make it comfortable for your little bundle to cruise and snooze.
Besides, a bassinet is used for a maximum of four months before you transfer the babe into the much more expensive and expansive crib.
Pointer: the best stroller to use for all intesive purposes is the UPPA BABY VISTA as it’s bassnet attachment is baby sleep approved.
2. Crib Bumpers
Do your research ladies.
Bumpers are a huge suffocation hazard!
They may look pretty but just like your stilletos, they can kill!
3. A fancy shmancy blanket
Same point as the bumpers.
It is a major suffocation hazard and is completely usless until the babe is over the age of one.
4. A fancy diaper bag
Your diaper bag can be a backpack, an old travelling bag or even a sturdy plastic bag.
That shit takes a beating.
If you get one, make sure you don’t care too much about it as it’ll carry food, diapers (both dirty and clean) back up clothing for your babe and yourself. This bag will get leaked into, dropped and put into all sorts of dirty places, like your trunk. The more you spend the more you’ll cry about it when you realize that it’s gone to shit.
5. Baby shoes
When I say this I mean don’t bother buying your 1-3 month old shoes as all they are gonna be wearing are onsies.
Even in the summertime.
Dude, you’re little girls head is soft and she just wants to chill!
You have a lifetime to make her look “pretty”.
For now, settle on having her be comfortable for the only time she can be completely comfortable.
7. Pee-Pee Teepee’s
HA! If you think that covering your little mans dong while you change him will save you then good luck chuck!
Just learn to change him as quickly as possible as these things NEVER stay on!
If you do get peed on, just laugh about it and save that story for future purposes.
8. 10 diffent baby rockers.
From my personal experience your baby gets accustomed to what you get them accustomed to.
Pick a rocker, my favorite is the MamaRoo, and stick them in it.
They will find a way to love it.
There is no need for ten of them!
WASTE OF YOUR MUCH NEEDED MONEY!
9. Wipe warmers
What a fucking mistake.
Once you get your baby used to warm wipes you are hanging yourself out to dry kid!
A baby knows what you have gotten it accustomed to.
Cold wipes, washing their bums in the sink or whatever other method you choose to use is all they will ever know.
Warm wipes are a touch much.
Don’t ya think?
10. Fancy furniture
This is a serious one!
What you may not understand is that your kid will grow up to chew the hell out of that crib.
Make sure that the crib of your choosing is not filled with any paint toxins and you are golden!
You don’t need to spend an arm and a leg on a crib that you’ll be using for two yesrs.
Focus on a proper mattress as that is what they are actually sleeping on.
Pointer: NOOK Sleep Systems Organic Pure mattress is amazing and will take you a long way with one baby down to the last.